Or, the silly things he does drunk.
To begin at the beginning, Steve is a freshman here at The Johns Hopkins University. His room, Jennings #187 in AMR II, is known as the Comfort Lounge. There is a page about those of us who populate the CL. Anyway, Steve is what some would call "troubled" because of his alcohol and substance use. However, when intoxicated, he is an amazingly creative being. Sometimes he draws cartoons on the dry-erase boards on our dorm rooms' doors; sometimes, he assumes a "theme" for the night and repeats it endlessly; sometimes he just does weird shit; and sometimes, he does all three. Oh, and did I mention? He plays the accordion. And when he's drunk, he plays it badly. (Add to that list, in the last month, the clarinet, saxophone, and harmonica.)
Here is a compendium of Steve's cartoons, humorous exploits, and themes (as well as an article that he wrote for the Charles Street Standard). They've gotten somewhat sparser in the second semester as Steve's drinking and genera l substance use declined during his relationship with Marie, but they will continue to be chronic led here. There are also a couple of photographs, but the images are somewhat cut-off. Those of us with cameras don't seem to be very good photographers.
Click on the thumbnails for the larger images. They're about 30k each.
|Hall & room number:||Jennings #188||Jennings #184||Jennings #184||Jennings #189|
|Saturday, 8-31-96||Arrived as freshman at the Homewood campus of The Johns Hopkins University.|
|Sunday, 9-1-96||Vomited in trash can and spilled it on carpet.|
|Wednesday, 9-4-96||Spent a good deal of time on hallway floor impersonating Jesus, yelling: "Crucify me!" (Steve gesticulating on the floor) (Steve on the floor with Mike)|
|Friday, 9-20-96||Began to drink mouthwash.|
|Saturday, 9-21-96||Constructed, to his roomate Justin's surprise, a web of Scotch tape across the room, garnished with a picture of Michael J. Fox, to trap demons. He left an explanatory note: "Justin, I set a trap for the demons. They're getting out of hand. Thees is best garçon. -Steve"|
|Saturday, 10-11-96||Spent an hour constructing lifesize Steve Dummy out of stuffed clothes and kitchen implements (e.g., fork as hand) to trick anyone who might be "coming to get him." (The Steve Dummy)|
|Saturday, 10-26-96||Fearing his Calculus test the next day, he tried desperately to contract mononucleosis from his friend Josh ("Dave"), demanding: "Spit in me."|
|Consumed six doses of NyQuil at midnight with the intention of getting up at 1:00 AM to begin the next day working on his Calculus. Failed to do so.|
|Tuesday, 11-12-96||OD'd on caffeine pills (MaxAlert), lapsed into seizures, and had to be taken to Union Memorial Hospital to have his stomach pumped.|
|Tuesday, 11-19-96||Drank from bottle of cooking wine and christened each of the light fixtures in the courtyard names like "Jack," "Phillip," and "Wilbur."|
|Friday, 11-22-96||Swore to defend his friend Marie with his life. When she went to bed, he panicked, thinking she was in danger. I told him, "Steve, Marie's sleeping. She went to bed a while ago." His reply: "With WHOM?"|
|Friday, 12-6-96||Wept as he implored his friend Joanna, "I just want you to give me something that I haven't had in a long, long time." He offered her $400, he said, because "I wanted to buy her so that I could commission her on demand later to do this thing she does. "|
|Friday, 2-28-97||"Since 'Mark' is such a hard name to remember, can't I just call you something easier, like 'Sleazy Weasel?'"|
|4-97||In choosing rooming arrangements for the next year, two of Steve's suitemates-to-be contracted to pay monthly sums to the third in exchange for being Steve's roomate.|
|Saturday, 4-12-97||Though he denies it, referred to himself as "Nasal Sex Cap'n."|
|Tuesday, 9-3-96||"Hi, my name is Steve, and I'm not a rapist."|
|Friday, 9-6-96||"Let me introduce you to my best friend in the whole world, the long-nosed Polish immigrant Mike Jasik."|
|Thursday, 9-12-96||"I'm a doormat, rub your feet on my face."|
|Friday, 9-13-96||"Fucking Loyola whores."|
|Saturday, 9-14-96||"I've got a world that swings." [credit: TMBG]|
|Sunday, 9-15-96||"The statue got me high." [credit: TMBG]|
|"We were so in love."|
|Friday, 9-20-96||"I don't want your stuff; I just want your good stuff."|
|Saturday, 9-28-96||"I am not your broom!" [This is a line Steve wrote a short song around. He sent a tape of it to They Might Be Giants and John Linnell, of the band, performed it! There will, in the future, be a page at this site devoted to that song as its populatiry has increased so rapidly]|
|9-??-96||"How much cake can you eat? (Are you standing on your feet?)"|
|Thursday, 10-10-96||"I'm buttoned up like a hellcat."|
|"Steve's going to quit smoking like a dirty sock."|
|Friday, 10-11-96||"Where's Blake?"|
|Saturday, 10-12-96||"I drink. I smoke. I'm a Real American Hero."|
|Friday, 10-18-96||"No-one in the world ever gets what they want, and that is beautiful." [credit: TMBG]|
|Saturday, 10-26-96||"I had enough pot to kill a small dolphin."|
|Friday, 12-6-96||"I'm James K. Polk, the Napoleon of the South." [credit: TMBG]|
|"Fuck you, you incandescent whore."|
|Thursday, 3-6-97||"I love it when it Twizzles." [credit: some commercial]|
|Thursday, 4-3-97||"I gotta tell you....I'm your muse, and I let you down."|
HTML'd by Aaron Brick.
Mail to Aaron or Steve himself.
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